Shane Collins and the Vampire's Portal
by BloddlustPrincess
Summary: Harry Potter/Morganville mashup. The gang goes through a weird portal and end up in Hogwarts. Shane/OC Claire/Myrnin Oliver/OC Eve/Michael Luna/OC Rated M just in case.


**Chapter One - Claire**

Bags packed, Claire walked downstairs to meet her two married housemates by the door. Shane followed close behind, carrying his rucksack over one shoulder leaving the other hand free to drag Claire's suitcase down with him. Claire had insisted that she could pull it herself, but as usual Shane wouldn't allow it. Wouldn't want poor, _defenceless_ little Claire breaking a nail.

She knew she was being hard on him about that, but in Claire's mind he deserved it. He followed her to MIT, he didn't trust her to survive out on her own. In all fairness, the boy was right, but still, it was the principle of the thing. Claire thought she'd forgiven him, but she still couldn't quieten the tiny voice inside that reminded her of his betrayal.

"Ready to go?" Eve asked, brushing her dark hair out of her eyes. Though it was an early start, Eve still managed to make herself look Gothed up, even without all the rice powder. Black winged eyeliner, topped with a blue line, matched her streaked hair perfectly, with black lips and nails to boot. Michael, on the other hand, had barely bothered with brushing his hair. Not that he needed to, that is; his hair looked good fluffy, too. His pale blue shirt and jeans contrasted greatly with the black puffy skirt, shirt and combo boots of his wife.

Wow, _wife_. The word still didn't ring clear to Claire. She looked down at her own ring, the one Shane had given to her, thinking of the promise it held.

_How can you marry someone who doesn't trust you?_ Claire asked herself, immediately regretting the question. She loved Shane... She had to...

"Yeah, good to go," Shane said from behind me, banging the case down the last step. "Ready, Claire?"

Claire looked at him, and he smiled at her, head cocked to one side waiting for a reply. She nodded too, and smiled back, magnifying the already-happy look on her boyfriend's face. "Ready for adventure!" She declared.

"Or, at least, as much adventure as Amelie will allow," Michael stated, a lopsided grin taking form. He took Eve's hand and led the group out of the house and headed out into Morganville.

Or, more accurately, headed for Myrnin's lair.

**Chapter Two - Claire**

The look of surprise on their faces was voiced by the torrent of colourful language escaping Eve at the sight of their unwelcome guest.

"Thank you, girl, but I hope you know I am as happy about this as you," Oliver growled, causing Eve to involuntarily squeak. "I'm here to keep an eye on you. Amelie's orders." His eyes fixed on Myrnin, trailing down his outfit, before returning to his face. "Are you sure the vampire fangs are necessary?"

"Of course! You don't understand the modern fashions, sir," he struck a pose. "These slippers are top of the range!"

That statement got a snort of laughter from Shane, but Myrnin ignored it.

"So, are we going, or would you prefer to continue with this idle chit-chat?" Oliver huffed, brows furrowing. Claire glared at him, it was him who started the chit-chat in the first place! She kept her mouth shut though.

"Ah, yes, certainly!" Myrnin turned to the corner of the lab, stepping over books and glassware (the place had gotten much messier since she left, Claire noticed) and opened the portal.

"You really have no idea where it leads?" Claire asked, staring into the blackness with a lost look on her face.

"Not one. Yesterday I tried it, and came out in some kind of bathroom. I heard crying and left swiftly. Now, please, after you, charmed guest." Myrnin motioned to Oliver, who grunted but obliged. Eve and Michael went afterwards, followed by Shane and Claire. Myrnin brought up the rear.

"Did you really have to bring that?" Claire groaned, pointing at the cage in Myrnin's hand.

"I couldn't leave Bob alone!" He cried, looking offended. "I- wait..."

He didn't manage to finish that sentence.

**Chapter Three - Shane**

The portal led us through to some kind of abandoned cupboard, judging by the spiderwebs and old brooms. And when I say old, I mean _ancient_, seriously. The things were matted and dusty, and the bristles were made of wood. Whoah. I met Eve's glance, and we shared a wide-eyed look of _what the hell? _

"Ah, it seems they've changed places again," a soft voice said. I looked straight ahead to face the stranger, stood in the doorway. He looked older than the brooms. White hair and beard, reaching his waist easily, with semi-circular glasses and the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. He seemed dressed in some kind of purple velvet dress/coat thing, long enough to cover his feet completely. He'd look more out-of-place than Myrnin back home.

"Yes, I must agree, this doesn't seem to be the bathroom I visited yesterday. Unless, of course, you have some wonderful interior decorating staff at your service," Myrnin mused, stroking his chin.

"Um, where are we?" Claire asked meekly.

"Hogwarts, dear child."

The man's answer was plain and simple. _Hogwarts. _Like that'd mean anything to us.

"Yeah, that means nothing to me," I told him, "Where are we, as in, on a map?"

"Oh, you wouldn't find us on a map." The man's knowing smile rattled me, why was he being cryptic?

"Okay, okay, where in the world are we, geographically?" Michael tried.

"Well, we're in Scotland!" He replied cheerily. I wasn't sure if he was actually playing with us, or a bit… Myrnin, really. Regardless. Scotland. That sure as hell wasn't near Morganville. God, it wasn't even America! "Now, I assume you all haven't yet got acquainted with your new surroundings, yes?" We nodded. "Well, come with me. I'll show you around."

The place was freaking huge. And not to mention insane. The "Great Hall" as it was called had a weather ceiling, or whatever. No joke, if it was cloudy outside, it was in the hall. A magic ceiling, a trick with mirrors, whatever it was, it was freaky. Not as bad as the little things, house elves, who manned the kitchens… Apparently this used to be a big secret but some students "outed" the elves a year ago.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention, this place is a _school_. For _witches and wizards_. No wonder Myrnin's portal led us here, he seems to be attracted towards the weird and wonderful. I hadn't decided which of the two this place was yet. The students got sorted, somehow (we were going to find out sooner than I'd anticipated) into one of four houses, and did classes in shit like potion making and wand waving or something like that. They all lived in dorms, but each house had a different dorm. One was in the dungeons, which was freaking awesome. As long as they were safer than the Morganville prisons, anyways.

"Myrnin, shouldn't we - Shouldn't we head back?" I heard the wariness in my girlfriend's voice, so I clenched her hand tighter in my grasp. She looked up at me, a mixture of fear and desire hidden in her eyes. I didn't know if the desire was for me, or for this place. The library had a restricted section, so probably for here.

Myrnin sighed. "I guess we should. I'm sorry this couldn't have been a longer visit." Myrnin's apology was directed at our host, whose name I found out to be Professor Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore nodded, and led us back to the closet.

"Hey Claire," Eve started, frowning. "If we're going back now, why did we pack things to bring?"

"In case we had to stay and find out where we were, and why the portals led us here," Claire explained. It was true, we had pretty good knowledge of the link between here and Morganville now, considering the supernatural vibe. "Or, in case something bad happens."

Which, ironically, was exactly what happened.

Chapter Four - Claire

"Oh god, there's… There's no way of getting back, is there?!" Eve was in hysterics, clinging onto Michael as if he'd disappear into thin air.

"Don't worry, young one," Dumbledore hushed her, "Another one will turn up somewhere, they appear somewhere in the castle every now and again. For now, let's sort you, get you somewhere to sleep."

So that was it, currently no way of getting home, the group being led down the long hallways towards the Great Hall again. Oliver had been extremely quiet, Claire noticed, and looked around for him.

"If you're looking for your older friend, he lingered in the dungeons with Severus." When Claire looked puzzled, Dumbledore continued, "Professor Snape, our experienced potions teacher, dear."

"Oh. Wait, you mean we could have left without him?!" Claire exclaimed, followed by a 'good riddance' from Eve, and a hushed laugh from Myrnin. Dumbledore merely smiled again and kept leading them forwards. "Amelie would have killed us…" She rambled on, calming herself down by doing so. It was all going to be okay.

The sorting ceremony, as it was called, usually happens for the new intakes in September. Doing it in October was unheard of, but the students and professors gathered in the hall nevertheless. Probably out of curiosity, but Claire wasn't bothered. It was interesting to see the enormity of the school. They filled the hall, cramped together down the length of four tables, one for each house of course. The most unusual thing that day was the way they were sorted.

"A hat?!" Shane scoffed, wide mouthed. Michael's eyes were wide, and Eve just couldn't keep a straight face. "What's it gonna do, talk to us?"

"Actually, that's exactly what I'm going to do, boy."

Eve shrieked, and Michael stepped backwards. Claire managed to stand her ground, and Shane gave another incredulous laugh. "Awesome, I'm in."

The hat was placed on all of our heads, individually, apart from Myrnin and Oliver (who had appeared for the assembly next to a greasy-haired man Claire could only assume was Professor Snape). Those two had to sit on the table with the staff, and were apparently going to get given jobs later on.

Shane was first, and was sorted into Slytherin. Claire had no idea what that meant, at the time. She got put into Ravenclaw, and the happy couple were both placed in Gryffindor. Claire saw Eve murmuring to the hat beforehand though, so Claire assumed that she had probably threatened the hat into submission. Knowing Eve.

The Ravenclaw students were very polite, and introduced themselves to Claire. The most interesting seemed to be a dainty Irish girl called Luna. Her dirty blonde hair was almost as long as Dumbledore's beard, a thought which amused Claire, though she'd never admit it. The girl even said she'd lend Claire a magazine explaining the concept of Nargles.

Claire glanced over at Shane. He was chatting to a boy with bright blonde hair and a girl with bushy hair of a dark red colour. Seeing Claire's glare, Shane winked at her, and must have told his new friends about her, as the boy turned towards her and the girl smiled and waved. Claire waved back shyly, then turned back to her own table, looking down at her hands for a moment.

Was that… Jealousy? It shouldn't be, she told herself. He was only making friends. It was a very Shane thing to do, be jealous of a bit of friendly conversation. Claire was distracted from the thought, thankfully, when Professor Dumbledore stood up from his seat.

"As a welcome to our new guests, I have decided that today we will have a feast!" He clapped his hands, and food appeared on the tables in front of them, as if by - Well, magic! Claire looked taken aback, an expression met with laughter from those around her.

"Oh, he always does that," Luna stated. "Must be to get the first years into the spirit. Especially those with muggle parents, they must be surprised too!"

"Muggles?"

"Non-magic folk," Cho told her. Cho was a sweet Asian girl, with dark hair and eyes. She was from Scotland, she'd told her when she'd questioned the accent.

The rest of the feast passed quickly, and before Claire knew it, everything was over and she was following Luna and Cho to the dorms. She took a quick look at Shane, who was walking with the two he was speaking with earlier, and headed off to her own dorm, tired and withdrawn.

**Chapter Five - Eve**

I don't get this place. I mean, it's a school. For magic. Shouldn't you just _know_ magic? It's cool and all, but hell, this puts a downer on those films Michael and I used to watch. Not only are we stuck in this gorgeous but totally insane place until Claire and her crazy boss figure out another way back, but we have to take part in classes.

Yeah, I didn't like school much to begin with. Now I'm going to a new one, a year older than the oldest students here, to learn some talent that I probably don't even possess. Great. Their classes sound _so _fun, too. Potions, that isn't bad, but herbology?! The only thing I can think of that I might be able to get on board with is care of magical creatures. Having to tame a dragon would be badass.

My lessons didn't start until tomorrow though. In the meantime, I was shown to the Gryffindor common room by some smarmy girl named Hermione, her obviously-friendzoned best friend Harry, and some ginger kid called Ron (although Hermione called him "Ronald").

"What the hell is that?" Michael said from beside me, his expression shocked. I followed his gaze over to a larger-than-life portrait of some fat chick in a hideously bright pink vintage dress.

"'That', my dear boy, is the only thing standing in the way of you, and your sleep. But if you're rude to me again I'll gladly block you out." The portrait said. Well, wailed. Yes, it sounds crazy, but the portrait freakin' talked. And moved. And blinked. I'd have said it was witchcraft, but here that phrase seemed a little redundant.

"Hippogriff Patch." Hermione said, staring defiantly at the woman as if she had corrected her. I bet she corrects people all the time, she has that look about her.

"Alright, go in." The fat woman sighed, waving her hand as the portrait unhinged itself from the wall and swung open.

"Watch out, Mike, she means what she says," Ron warned Michael with a wink. Michael grinned and followed the trio through to the portrait-shaped hole in the wall. I hesitated a little, but followed inside.

My eyes hurt. The room was full of golds and reds, the house colours obviously, and the only light came from fire. A huge fireplace on the far wall, the candle chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, and even a few sconces. I couldn't decide whether it was beautiful or haunting. Dropping myself onto the large red sofa by the fire, I decided on beautiful. It was so comfortable, I didn't want to move. Thankfully, I didn't have to.

"These are your timetables for tomorrow, your weekly timetable will be sent to you when we know your abilities and how long you're staying," Hermione told us, handing me and Michael a small slip of paper.

"Oh, hell." Michael sighed. He was right. Class started at nine, but we had to be at the great hall for breakfast at seven thirty. That was never going to happen. Then, six hours of lessons?! I could never get used to this. "What's your first class, Eve?"

"Charms... Yeah, I know nothing about that subject... You?"

"Defense against the dark arts." He answered, disappointed. I acted shocked at his disappointment, begging him to switch with me, but Hermione made it obvious that that was _never_ going to be allowed. I grabbed his timetable to look for similar classes, but found nothing.

"At least we have lunch," Michael smiled his gorgeous smile, which always managed to make me feel a little better. I leaned into him and closed my eyes as his arm wrapped around me, listening to the conversations around us.

"I'm gonna fail this term! Professor Snape is gonna kill me!"

"Colin kept taking my picture again today..."

"Have you met that new guy? The one with the long hair and the multi-coloured shirt... Yeah that one, sat by Snape in the hall. How hot is he?!"

I turned around at that one. _Oliver?_ Michael mouthed at me, eyebrows furrowed. I shrugged and craned my neck to get a closer look.

The voice was coming from a girl with long brown hair. She was talking to another girl, whose short hair contrasted greatly with that of everyone else I'd seen here.

"Sarah, Flitwick wanted me to give you this."

Harry gave a book to the shorter haired girl, who smiled back and thanked him. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was her friend I was worried about. Having a crush on must mean you're insane, look at Amelie.

Chapter Six - Shane

Draco led me down the staircases into a large entrance hall area, then opened another door, and we climbed down yet another set of staircases. Thankfully, these didn't move; in this darkness that would have creeped the hell out of me. Morganville born and raised, always be aware of dark enclosed spaces.

"What is it, Collins, scared?" I was going rather slowly, looking around myself critically.

"Nah, I come from Morganville bro, gotta check behind you there. The place has _real _danger." I grinned at his scowl and elbowed him. "Lighten up man, I'm messin'." The guy was pretty serious when you mocked him.

"Yeah baby, Shane wouldn't mock you!" _ giggled, sneaking up behind him and linking her arm through his.

"True," Draco smirked. I wasn't sure if I liked him, but it was fun to wind him up. Plus, his girlfriend was pretty cool. I didn't know how she got red hair in this place though, it's pretty cut off from the outside world. Plus Draco _hates _'Muggle' items. Pretty offensive to be fair, but he didn't seem to judge me for it.

The stairway opened up into a dingy dungeon-hall.

"Our common room is in the dungeons," _ said, smiling at my expression. "Potions class is down here too."

"Awesome. Hey, question."

"Yeah?"

"How do you guys get to class on time? This place is huge."

_ laughed, unlinking her arm from Draco's and turning to face me. "Magic." She waved her hands in the air and hopped down the last couple of steps. She stumbled as she hit the floor, looking as if she was going to fall flat on her face, but she managed to right herself. "Ha, naturally clumsy." I smirked and followed her down the hallway.

Not joking, it was pretty cool. On either side of me were barred doors and tiny rooms, this place seriously was a dungeon. We passed a few wooden doors and then _ stopped abruptly. I leaned round her to see why she'd stopped. Dead end.

"Did we come the right way?" I asked her, staring at the grey bricks intently.

"Seriously, Collins?" Draco smirked again and pushed his way past us. "Pure blood." He said to no one in particular.

"Damn..." The wall wasn't a wall. There was a door. Had I not noticed the door? Nah, there wasn't a door before. I don't know why this took me as such a surprise, considering there was a whole class on turning animals into cups, but it did.

_ opened the door, took Draco's hand and dragged him inside. I followed, but didn't get very far. I ended up rooted to the spot. The place was awesome. All black and silver, with flecks of green. There was a fireplace that was black, the fire was green, the sofas were black, so were the tables and chairs.

"Scared, Collins?" Draco sneered. He really could be a dick.

"Scared of what?" I asked, stepping the rest of the way through the door. Once through and past my sudden awe, I slumped on the sofa facing the fireplace. Suddenly, I was exhausted. _ must have sensed it and tossed me a pillow before walking up to what I could only assume was a notice board.

"Want your timetable for tomorrow, Shane?" _ asked, tilting her head slightly. Cute.

"Uh, can you just read it out to me?" She scoffed, but did what I asked.

"You got double potions at nine, transfiguration at eleven, care of magical creatures at twelve - good luck, hopefully Hagrid won't have you working with anything too disgusting before lunch - then lunch is at one. In the afternoon-"

"Wait, hold up. How many classes do we have in a day?!"

"Six hours worth. Oh, and you gotta be in the great hall for breakfast at seven thirty. First years get the early slot," She winked at me. "Anyway, after lunch you have - Oh god! Double divination!"

"Is that bad?" Draco was sniggering, so I assumed so.

"Well it's not good. Definitely not good." _ smirked. On her it looked less stuck up.

"Actually, I think Collins might _love _Trelawney. She's probably ran out of amusing ways her students are gonna get 'killed'." Draco kept sniggering. "Maybe this time she'll predict something that's actually _true_."

"Okay… So divination is like fortune telling? Do you guys get a crystal ball and everything?"

"Actually yeah, we do…" _ stated, looking a little embarrassed. Shit, this place was just like a movie. A really bad movie, but with a very big budget. I needed sleep.

"Hey, where do we sleep? And what do I do about the fact that I have none of my stuff?" I wouldn't normally care about that, but I guessed I'd be there for a while. I know Claire's capable, but with Myrnin and that Dumbles guy putting her off, I didn't know if she'd work as quickly as usual. I wanted to talk to Claire, to text her or call her, anything, but nothing electrical works here. I couldn't even visit her since we were in different "houses". It kinda sucked.

"Oh, erm, I don't actually know…" _ answered, flustered. "Draco, would you go check in the dorm? See if there's an extra bed there or something…" She turned to me as Draco stomped off. That guy seriously didn't like being told what to do. I still didn't know if I wanted to hang around with him. "Sorry, we haven't ever had a new student join mid-year before, it's a bit confusing…"

I grinned at her. "Yeah, contrary to popular belief, this has never happened to me either." She laughed and sat down beside me. "So, what do you guys do around here? Other than sit by the fire and chat."

"Oh! Well, there's homework -" She made a face. "Or we might play chess, or go for a walk in the grounds, we sometimes go on trips to the local town, Hogsmeade, which is pretty cute. We also," She looked up the stairs as if waiting for Draco to return, "Well, I sometimes visit the house elves in the kitchens. They always like receiving new clothes, Dobby especially. He's adorable. Oh and if you like animals you can always go hang out with Hagrid, he sometimes lets you take care of some of the creatures we study in class. Oh, and-"

"There isn't another bed, but there's a new door opposite the girls' dorm. I think that's where Collins has to stay." Draco stated, straight faced. Then, it curled into a smirk. "You going to bed then?"

I got the hint. _ obviously did too, considering her face turned bright pink. "Yeah sure. Night."

"Night."

"Goodnight! I'll wake you tomorrow if you aren't up by seven fifteen!" _ winked at me, making me smile, then I went up to my new room.

"Fucking hell," I blurted.

"Shane? You okay?" _'s voice was muffled.

"Yeah I'm good, just surprised, night."

"Night…"

My room was _my _room. As in, an exact replica of my room in the Glass House. I don't know how, or why, but it was. I had no idea how to feel about it. My bed was unmade, the way I left it, and my stuff was mostly on the floor. Again, where I left it. The only change was a toothbrush and towel folded on my dresser. And the fact that there would be no Claire. A bit freaked out, I got changed and got into bed.

Everything felt exactly the same, and I didn't like that.


End file.
